The Rise and Fall and Rise and Fall (and Riseish and Fallish and Other Periods of) the Ashby Empire

Well. This post is coming from a kinda dark but still exciting time in my life.

I’m going to college in T-minus less-than-a-month.

And, well, there’s some goods and some bads with that.

Good: To quote School House Rock: “KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!”

I’m excited to go and get my learn on. I want to have new experiences, go places, meet people, and spread awesome. I want to write papers and sometimes party and go to the library at three AM because there’s nothing else to do. I want to drink some coffee somewhere with friends or read a cutting edge book or just chill in my dorm. I want to be on the up and up as far as current national and international affairs are concerned, while being able to envision myself within that worldwide community. I want to feel like I’m a part of something bigger than myself, something that is fueled by thought, creativity, and brilliance.

Ashby + College = Perfect.

Or. Yanno. So I thought. I feel as though I should explain.

Why I Will Become a Lifetime Movie

So, today, while brushing my hair, I was looking in the mirror, and I was all excited. I’ve lost some weight.

Being a dork, and being excited, I thought about all the stuff I had done recently to get to this point. I had… uh… well… um… stopped rowing? Er… what have I done?

And a new realization hit.

I’ve lost weight, because there is no food in my house.

A Very Potter Medley

Sometimes, a school project ends up even better than one originally visualizes it.

And sometimes, it takes on the form of a musical medley. With Harry Potter.

A Very Potter Medley–Video

This is my girlfriend Kaitlin and myself, performing hits from the ever popular Very Potter Musical. I hope you enjoy!

Also, if you want the original mixed .mp3 file, it’s available here:

A Very Potter Medley–MP3

Hope you enjoy!

Also, I’m going to take this opportunity to let the (does anyone actually read this?) readers of this here blog know of the girlfriend’s blog. She has one now. I am so proud. http://shutupansmile.blogspot.com/

[Just another quick thing... does anyone know how to display Facebook video on WordPress? I can't seem to make it work...]

A Chemistry Carol: Epilogue

From that moment on, Sodium and Chlorine were best friends, nearly inseparable (unless dissolved in water). People around them called the duo “Sodium Chloride.” Chlorine had been made well, his neutron replaced. And even more importantly, Sodium had been well.

Sodium had changed, for the better.

The family moved into a larger home, was well fed and was sure to have proper Mole Days from that moment on, their homes full of light, joy, cheer, and yes, a Chemistree.

Although many evens occurred through the lives of these various characters after this moment, I will leave one final scene to complete this story:

-

*     *     *

-

The church was full of light—it danced upon the new pews, statues, windows and other various items donated by Hydrogen, who had been given a hefty raise at work. The entire family—Hydrogen, Beryllium, Chlorine, Oxygen, Iodine, Generic Children C-D (The family, now wealthy, had decided it was in their best interest to name at least half of their unnamed kids) and Sodium—was there, part of a full house, singing and praising Mole Day and Avogadro.

A Chemistry Carol: Part V

He was sitting on his bed. Krypton sat before him, smiling within his shroud.

Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong.

Five o’ clock.

Krypton evaporated as the mist covering the city lifted. The sun began to fill his dark home.

A moment passed. Na^-6 allowed himself to recover from the shock of his evening.

“I… I did it!” His fear was slowly replaced with a cautious enthusiasm.

“I did it! Woo! I totally did it! Yes!” His mind broke loose. He was ecstatic, he was mad. What day is it? Who really cares? Tee-hee! Merry Mole Day, Merry Mole Day!

He threw open a window, spotting a small kid on his tricycle.

“Hey! You down there! What day is it?”

“Mole Day, duh. Crazy person…”

“Thanks!” Now he was even happier—he had a second chance.

He ran through the house and out the front door, shooting out of the dark residence into the sunlight, still dressed in no more than a bed robe, completely barefoot. Through the suburbs, across downtown, past his office, and into the slums. He was glancing left and right, looking for a specific dwelling… now where was that place?

He came upon the worst home on the worst street in the worst part of town. This was it. In the light, the building looked even more broken down—there were holes in the roof, and cardboard was being used as siding.

He sprinted up to the door, threw it open, and shot inside.

A Chemistry Carol: Part IV

Last Mole Day. Na^-6 felt like he’d been hit with a ton of bricks.

Beryllium explained. “The doctor said if we can’t get him a real neutron for prosthesis, he will become chemically unstable and die within a few months. You know Chlorine will never see another Mole Day, because we can’t afford to have his neutron replaced.”

This all swarmed Na^-6‘s head. Last Mole Day, living off donations, poor, poor Chlorine. He slammed his eyes shut, as tight as possible, to hide from the tragedy playing out in front of him.

A jovial voice came from inside. Chlorine’s. “Why are we all crying? It’s Mole Day! Be glad and rejoice!” This sprung a fresh stream of tears from the family.

Na^-6 cried out. “Argon! I’ve seen enough! Take me from here, let me go home! Please, I beg you, I’ve seen enough!”

On the Oil Distaster…

I did math. Using some stats on various websites, I decided to put the oil problem into a more understandable statistic.

From PBSNewsHour’s channel on YouTube, I obtained both the high (“Experts Worst Case”) and low (NOAA) estimates for the amount of oil in the Gulf of Mexico at 10:51pm on May 26.

From there, I used statistics from all over the internet, and found averages to all of them, and used them to determine: How much oil has been lost, seen in car tanks of gasoline and total drivable miles?

So, after doing the math, as of 10:51, NOAA’s estimate demonstrated approximately 225,251 full tanks of gas in midsize cars, which equated to about 23,589,387 miles.

A Chemistry Carol: Part III

The frightened atom peeked into his parlor, where he was met by a loud, booming voice. “Na^-6! Please, do come in!”

The room had changed. Every wall and surface was encrusted with leaves, ivy, and mistletoe, and a large, roaring fire leapt up the chimney, burning large, glowing logs.

But these details were minute in comparison to the large, green Noble sitting in the dead center of the room. He had a faint, jovial glow about him. He wore a plain white robe and a wreath made of eight red spheres upon his head.

“Please, make yourself comfortable. Come in, have a seat, no need to fret!”

Na^-6 was stunned. “…Comfortable?! This is MY house!”

A Chemistry Carol: Part II

“…”

“……”

“………………”

“…Wow, what a nightmare! I must have dozed off… no more tea before bed!” With a quick glance at the clock, reading 1:30 AM, he walked into his bedroom, adjacent to the parlor.

Most educated, wealthier atoms (for the most part) were very scientific in their thinking. Most didn’t believe in any form of the supernatural, as science could not prove it. For this reason, and because of his denial of the situation even occurring, Na^-6 forgot about the experience and drifted to sleep, lulled by the sound of his ticking clock.

In the adjacent room, the fire had gone out due to Na^-5’s visit, so the darkness surrounding Na^-6 was palpable. As the hours went by, the ticking of his clock was interrupted by a loud clanging of the hour, just as the clock tower outside his home did. The chime seemed to put a wave into the darkness, one that would wake him up every hour to hear what time it was.

Dong. Dong. Two o’ clock.

Dong. Dong. Dong. Three o’ clock.

Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong. Four o’ clock.

Dong. One o’ clock.

A Chemistry Carol: Part I

The scientist jumped up from his microscope. “Whoa, Jon, check this out! The compound is starting to act really strange!”

Jon got up from his microscope and, after cramming a last handful of potato chips into his mouth, ran over to his coworker. He looked into his partner’s microscope, and while spittling chip crumbs commented, “Huh. That is looking strange. I wonder what’s going on…”

A Chemistry Carol

Sodium Ion B was gone. This entire story would seem pointless if not for this fact. In fact, even with this fact, this story should seem really pointless. But I digress.

Nobody is sure how Sodium Ion B (Na^-5) died. Most say he didn’t, that the law of conservation of matter should be kept in place, although many disagree. Some believe that antimatter was involved, but only one thing was certain. Na^-5 was gone for good.

The sign hanging from the eaves of the firm still said “Na A and Na B,” even though the latter was gone. The central character of this story is the former, Sodium Ion A. Sodium Ion A’s goal in life was to be the richest atom in the world. He was greedy, self-centered, and robbed many of their precious electrons.

Business had been going quite well, and he liked to count his total particles every night before closing up the firm. Our story begins in just such a scene:

“One S two, two S two, two P six…” Na A went through his electrons, counting his configuration shell by shell. In the adjacent room, his aide, Hydrogen, sat with a look of deep worry upon his face. He spoke up.

“Um, Mr. Ion?”